Ugh

Well, we did accomplish our furniture shopping yesterday, but boy did I feel awful the entire time we were out!  Geesh.  I finally managed to down some saltines and a bit of tomato soup last night.  No thanks to Target, where they had a display of super smelly dryer sheets stacked right next the checkout line that we chose.  I almost tossed cookies right there in the store.  I'm very confused about why smells are bothering me right now.  I suppose the blessing is the fact that this is happening after my period, rather than before my period when I would have interpreted this as a possible pregnancy sign.

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and pounding head.  I just hope I don't have the flu.

Anyway, I am hoping to hear something about my CD3 blood results this week.  It would be nice to have some answers and some sort of course of action.  I know P won't be overly thrilled about submitting a sample if my results come back normal, but he's the other half to this equation and I know he'll do it promptly so we can get this show on the road.  If it even comes to that, of course.  I'm expecting some abnormalities in my results anyway, considering the inconsistencies that were found about 15 months ago.  All we can do is wait and see for now.

Right now I am taking it one day at a time, and I am really concentrating on feeling joy for women who are pregnant right now.  I so do not want to become bitter.  It's a constant internal struggle, believe me.  However, bitterness will not produce anything besides unhappiness, so I know it's something that must be controlled.  All I can do is look forward to the unbelievable happiness that awaits me, too.  One day.