Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I am so Selfish

Yesterday I had a voicemail from my sister - she told our parents the good news yesterday! She sounded much more excited in her message, so everything must be sinking in now. :)

That said, I am kind of laying low and I hate to admit that I don't want to talk to my parents about it yet. I know they're going to be so excited, and that's great - but I don't know if I'll be able to hold it together if I talk to them about it. Additionally, I have talked to my mom about our struggles so far, I don't know if she's told my dad or not (I'm guessing no, but I could be wrong), and I don't want to talk about how badly she feels for us. Because I know she will be keenly aware of how I am feeling. And I love her for that, but I'm not ready to talk about it.

So now I feel selfish because I've already planned to avoid talking to anyone until at least this weekend. Which will be easy to do since I've been filling my schedule more and more as I've felt emptier and emptier over the past few weeks.

Yet here I am, typing out my self pity in the blogosphere for nobody to read except myself. Sad.

But in other news, I saw my acupuncture doc again yesterday and since my general health is better, he wants to focus on my fertility now. Which is good. :) I started evening primrose oil yesterday for my [lack of] CM situation. He also placed some needles - with electricity - around my stomach and abdomen to stimulate my ovaries. He seems hopeful that I will ovulate earlier this cycle, so we'll see. That would be fantastic. I will keep my fingers crossed.

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