Tuesday, June 9, 2009

Seeking Professional Help

I've decided that I need professional help. I'm not ashamed. Between HATING my job to the point where I nearly resigned yesterday, and the whole IF BS...I think it's only normal that I'm having panic attacks and bouts of depression. Well, normal for my genetic makeup, anyway.

Let me give you a family run-down. My grandmother is bipolar. My grandfather is clinically depressed. My mom has been clinically depressed and on medication as long as I can remember. And my sister has been diagnosed with anxiety problems. P. also has anxiety issues, but has been off meds since about a year after we started dating.

Me? I was diagnosed as clinically depressed about 10 years ago and did a year on Prozac. Loved the way I felt on Prozac, but hated the lethargy and weight gain. Took myself off it and never looked back (kids, don't try this at home -- against all doctor recommendations!).

Anyway. So I tried to make an appointment directly with a psychiatrist, but they couldn't get me in until September. WTF?? I have mental issues, but you can't see me until September? I was tempted to embellish my story, but decided that might get me more than I bargained for. So I called my GP and can see them tomorrow. That's good. I need medication, people, and I need it now. I just hope there is something they can give me that will be safe for potential pregnancy. (Potential...argh.)

And just so we're clear... I am not the type of person who would automatically resort to medication. That's not me. I've been diligently going to yoga, working out, getting acupuncture, going to church...trying all the great activities that would normally help me through times like this. If I were healthy. But apparently, I'm not healthy right now. So I give in. Because I just can't do it on my own anymore. Feel free to judge or weigh in. I've got no issues with my decision.


  1. I would definitely never judge someone's decision to seek professional help or medication for depression or anxiety. I have family members and friends that suffer from a similar "family-run down" as yourself. You need to do what is best for your physical/mental health.

    The first I remember reading about someone trying to get pregnant and taking medicine for depression was Calliope at Creating Motherhood. I don't think I can hyperlink in the comment, but if you want, you can get to her blog through mine. She has since had a successful pregnancy and baby!

    Good Luck at the GP appointment tomorrow! I hope all goes well and you find the right medicine!

  2. This is hard. If you need help you are so not alone. Good luck.

  3. Thanks for the comments, ladies. Tina, I will check out Calliope's blog through yours. Thanks!