Wednesday, June 24, 2009

Everything Sucks

I finished work for the evening just 30 minutes ago, and burst into tears when I realized it was already bed time. This came after crying in public while sitting by myself at a bar (awesome), and a gasping cry while talking to my husband on the phone (during which I burst into fresh tears multiple times).

This job has officially robbed me of my sanity, and IF has robbed me of my hope. When you combine the two, there's little left but an empty shell of what used to be a happy, optimistic girl.

I'm not quite sure what to do yet. All I know is that I cannot continue on the same path. This is all wrong. Something has to give.

Shoot. I just realized that the RE's office said I can call tomorrow for the results of the second SA. Our next consult is scheduled after the 4th of July. Besides the fact that I will probably not have time to call tomorrow, I'm not even sure if I want to know the results before we talk to the doctor. It might just stress me out more. I don't know. What would you do?


  1. If knowing the results will "ease" your mind (I would freak out worse NOT knowing than having bad news), then go ahead and get the results. If you would rather wait and then be able to discuss everything with your dr, then that's what you should do.

    I know the feeling of crying in public places. I did it multiple times after my ectopic. I am so sorry that you are feeling so down, this all sucks. Please keep venting - this is what this community is all about!!

  2. Yeah, I decided to call from the airport tomorrow and get the results. Who was I kidding, pretending I wasn't neurotic? Ha!

    I'm so sorry to hear about your ectopic. :( You're right, this all sucks! I hope we all get great news soon!