Trepidation

Confession: I am beyond nervous about the RE appointment on Tuesday. I am so afraid that he is going to tell us the SA #'s are so low that IVF is our only option. I know I am not being reasonable by allowing this line of thinking to take place, but yet here I am.

Perhaps I've freaked myself out by reading 3 books about IF in the past week? Yet somehow, I don't think that arming myself with information is a bad thing. What bothers me is the fact that I still have no clue what I think about IVF for us. I know we would be mostly OOP (out of pocket) for that & despite our good salaries, I'm just not sure about the financial and emotional strain of such a prospect.

I need to stop thinking about it and just get through the darn appointment!

I also plan on discussing stress/anxiety with the RE. Because between this IF BS and the hell that is my job, I seriously don't think I can continue making it through the days without medication. I am being 100% serious here. I eat clean, work out, do yoga and relaxation exercises, and still I am an emotional wreck. This is not good.

OK...T-minus 41 hours until we meet with the RE. I can make it...

Also - FF is on crack. I did not ovulate when it thinks I did. I also have no idea when AF will show up due to this fact.

No O

Yep, just when I thought I somewhat had a handle on what my crazy body was doing... +OPK, then steadily dropping temps. Awesome. I guess I can probably chalk it up to high stress this cycle, but now I'm worried about how long this cycle might end up going. Maybe I'll still O? Who knows?

At least the RE will have recent evidence of the EPIC FAIL that is my body when we go in next month. Add the male factor, and as a couple we're just going to look like losers. Ugh. :(