So Confused

I know I've been missing in action lately. With P. gone and being on a TTC break cycle, I didn't have much to say. :)

I guess I could have blogged about how my little sister told me she and her husband are now officially TTC, but I refrained because the first few days were a little emotional for me. Don't get me wrong - I wish them all the best in their TTC journey, of course! And I completely look forward to having biological niece(s)/nephew(s)! But...well...I'm sure you can imagine how I would feel if they are successful before us, after P. and I have been trying for a while.

Anyway. So this cycle completely doesn't matter because we've had no baby-making sex; however, I am still confused about what's going on. My last two cycles, I've only had an 11 day LP. Today is 13 DPO for me. I also normally spot a few days before AF shows up, but as of today...nada. I'd like for my LP to go back to 13-14 days like it used to be, so this could be good news. But it's still pretty confusing. Additionally, I had almost no CM this cycle. Seriously. So while my chart shows a clear thermal shift, I had nothing to go by in the CM department. Please get with the program, body!

Also: I've been experiencing hella cramps the past 5 days...but only while I'm doing cardio. WTF? That is very strange. This morning was horrible. I was jogging on the treadmill and suddenly was gripped with the most painful freaking cramps of all time. I got hot and dizzy. They felt like PMS cramps, but then I realized with some horror that I had to move my bowels in the most urgent way! Ugh. So I actually had to STOP the treadmill and run to the bathroom. I was only 1/2 way through my workout at that point, so I decided to return to my workout after this, er, event. (Meanwhile, I KNOW people were watching and knew exactly why I left the treadmill and ran to the bathroom...how freaking embarrassing!)

So I started jogging again, but the cramps progressively got so bad that I had to give up. And I have an enormous tolerance for pain, so you can imagine how irritated I was by this. But I was in so much pain! So I slowed down, came to a stop, and basically ran to my car. Drove home (we only live a few minutes away) and only began to feel better after sitting down for about 20 minutes - and "going" 2 more times. (Sorry if this is TMI...but hey, it's my blog!) WTF? This is really bizarre behavior, even for my messed up self. Argh.

Thank God DH is Coming Home

I pick him up in a couple short hours, thank goodness! I've gotten SO MUCH accomplished in his absence, but it feels like I've been alone for an eternity. I am ready for human companionship again. :)

And, dare I say, ready to get back on the TTC bandwagon again after our short break!

I am convinced that I will be KTFU up very soon. Why? Because I just booked our anniversary vacation - Vegas and Napa Valley. That's right, two places where lots of drinking would be involved. And thus, I will definitely get KTFU beforehand so I won't be able to drink. And that would be OK with me. For the most part... ;-)

Liberating

I forgot to temp for the past 2 days, and it was really liberating. Well, actually I didn't temp on Monday because I was violently vomiting all night (medicine interaction...awesome). I was out sick Tuesday. And then I forgot to turn my alarm back on yesterday morning, so I didn't even wake up until 7:30. Yikes! At that point, I figured "who cares? 3 hours later then normal = wacky temp). But I went back to my routine this morning. I also haven't been checking CM or CP. Whatever.

I'm sure I'll start caring again when P. gets back home. But for now, not worrying about TTC is liberating.

Bah

This morning I found myself looking up my infertility benefits available via my health insurance. IF treatment is covered at 85% so long as I use an in-network provider, but my lifetime maximum is $5,000. That seems a little low, doesn't it?

::Sprinkles stop-overanalyzing-everything dust on self::

CD 8

And I think I finally stopped spotting. About freaking time!

I am actually thinking that being separated from P. during ovulation might be a good thing this cycle; I think we need a little bit of a break. I really hate to admit this, but sex has become such a focused mission over the past few months. And we've timed it so perfectly, but we have yet to see the fruits of our "labor." A month off might be nice, actually.

Ugh

So my stomach problems seem to be the result of intestinal parasites. Disgusting, no? No idea when or where I picked these up. Stupid amoebas! I am taking two heavy duty medicines to eradicate these little jerks, and the meds are seriously kicking my butt. Not only do I have a constant, bad headache, but I also have lovely stomach cramps. Awesome. 19 more days of this crap. Oh, and no drinking while I am on the meds. Talk about adding insult to injury.

Work is also kicking my butt. Constantly changing travel schedules, plus more work than I can possibly accomplish within the given deadlines. I'm really trying not to stress out about it, but that's especially difficult given the fact that P. is about to go on business travel for 3 - 4 weeks. And I will probably be leaving for my travel right as he returns. And we are definitely going to miss my fertile time this cycle. Double ugh.

I told him I need him to get his SA done as soon as he gets back, because at that point we will be dangerously close to the one year mark. And I want to get his stuff figured out so we know if we're dealing with a problem on his side, or if I need some internal diagnostics. My acupuncture doc wants to start me on an herb after I'm done with this stupid anti-parasite medicine to help with the fluctuating temps and possible progesterone issue in my LP. He says all signs point to a "liver qi" insufficiency. So we'll see.

More soon.

WTF??

So I managed only an 11 day LP last cycle. AND, my period was completely, 100% gone yesterday...but it returned today. All I can ask is, WTF body?

My acupuncture doc says that my liver qi is messed up. After I finish all my anti-protozoan medication (::sigh:: my life is so weird), he wants to start me on herbs. I wonder if he does vitex, because that was the next logical step in my mind.

Anyway. Trying not to stress about it, I swear!