Thank God DH is Coming Home

I pick him up in a couple short hours, thank goodness! I've gotten SO MUCH accomplished in his absence, but it feels like I've been alone for an eternity. I am ready for human companionship again. :)

And, dare I say, ready to get back on the TTC bandwagon again after our short break!

I am convinced that I will be KTFU up very soon. Why? Because I just booked our anniversary vacation - Vegas and Napa Valley. That's right, two places where lots of drinking would be involved. And thus, I will definitely get KTFU beforehand so I won't be able to drink. And that would be OK with me. For the most part... ;-)

That Was Weird

I guess my post yesterday kicked the PMS into high gear, because literally within an hour of my post I began spotting and cramping. Awesome. Let's see if I can make it past a 12 day LP this time. Weirdest thing - I'd been consistently having a 14 day LP until last cycle, when it was only 11 days long. My acupuncture doc didn't like that LP one bit. So we'll see what happens this cycle.

In other news, I got adjusted by my chiropractor yesterday & I slept a million times better last night! I had a nerve in the right side of my neck that was swollen and painful and now it is feeling normal again. Thank goodness for getting sleep! I had mentioned TTC to the doc and he mentioned that because the muscles in my lower back and around my abdomen were all out of whack pre-adjustment, there's no telling whether or not sufficient nutrients and blood supply were making their way to my reproductive organs. No promises, of course, but it will be interesting to see where things go from here between the chiropractic and the acupuncture.

Stomach Inflammation is a Biatch

So I naively thought that my stomach was going to start feeling better now that I'm on Prevacid and Zantac to help reduce the acid (and hopefully inflammation). Boy, was I wrong! Yesterday morning I was gripped by the worst nausea yet. In fact, it was so bad that both ends of my system were overloaded. I practically crawled from the bathroom to the couch after emptying everything and downing my anti-nausea meds. And the meds promptly knocked me out for a while. Just what I needed: taking MORE leave time from work. Ugh.

In other news, I find that I am becoming less optimistic about TTC. I don't know why. Really, I should be happy and thankful that I'm getting all these diagnostics. But instead, I seem to be subconsciously thinking that it's inevitable that we won't be able to have kids. I know that positive thought and even visualization is necessary in order to achieve our goal, so I am slightly horrified by these thoughts that I can't seem to control. I wish I could just bang my head against a wall and have these thoughts magically fall out. Really, what is wrong with me? Even at 9 months of trying, we're really just beginning our TTC journey (at least, this is my impression). I hope that I can hold out for the long haul.

I called Quest the other day to figure out the nearest lab that can do P's SA. Unfortunately, the nearest one is 45 minutes away! And since you're really supposed to get the sample to the lab about 30 minutes after it's given, I fear that P might actually have to give his sample AT the lab. He is not at all enthused about this idea. I'm sure I could go with him...errrr, I guess I'd better call the lab and ask. Another option might be for him to call our insurance company and see if he can drop the sample off at the hospital (which is only 10 minutes away, tops). But getting him to call will be a challenge on its own. ::sigh::

Anyway, here's to some hopefully more positive thinking in the near future! I think I may actually start posting on The Nest/Bump again soon, because not having anyone to talk to about this stuff is starting to get to me.

Unloading on Others

I did something that I wasn't expecting to do the other day: I divulged to my mom that we've been TTC, and having problems with it. I can't believe that I unloaded my "secret" on her! I have talked to a few others about it - namely, my sister and my two closest friends. And I didn't plan on telling my mom, but I did. So it's out there now. And somehow that makes me feel a little better. It sort of reminds me of being a little girl and snuggling up against my mom so she could protect me from the wrongs of the world. I guess, in a way, this was the adult version of doing just that.

Normal CD3 Results!

I got some good news from my OB/GYN's office: my CD3 blood work results were normal! I was honestly shocked, as my doctor overseas had gone on and on about how my hormone levels were out of balance. Shocked in a good way, though. :) And now it's P's turn -- she is ordering an SA for him. I'm sure he's thrilled... Not. Anyway, I'm going to pick up the collection cup and instructions today. From what I understand, he gets to make the deposit at home and drop it off at a lab, so that's not too bad.

In other news, I saw the acupuncturist again yesterday. He seems to think that something is going on with my liver. He looked at all my charts and explained how a problem with my liver could cause blockages in my menstrual cycle. He said it makes sense when looking at how long the follicular phase of my cycles are. It was strange printing out my charts because I've been off BCPs for 14 months now; yet I only had 9 cycles/charts to bring in. Yikes! I am really enjoying the acupuncture sessions and I love that the doc is so into nutrition - I've wanted to see a nutritionist for a while to ensure I'm getting the proper balance of nutrients in my diet.

Finally, romance is in the air with Valentine's Day tomorrow! :) All this TTC business has made sex a bit lackluster lately - it's amazing how trying to time everything for 9 months can begin to kill the spontaneity and romance that normally surrounds sex. So I really wanted to surprise P with something to spice things up (besides more lingerie - I have the largest lingerie collection around). I got several pieces from the Liberator collection, and I plan on trying them today! We both took most of the day off from work, and we have a romantic dinner on the water planned tonight. So I think we can try one piece this afternoon and maybe a combination tonight. Perfect timing, too - as I got a +OPK yesterday and my temp did not rise this morning. But I am not telling P that the timing is right...I want to get back to the spontaneous feeling :)

Happy [early] Valentine's Day everyone!

Well Now, That Sort of Sucks

The battery of tests that began when I was overseas are about to resume.  More blood work tomorrow.  A pre-colonoscopy visit with a gastroenterologist on Thursday.  An abdominal CT in a couple weeks.  And the actual colonoscopy  to be scheduled.  Oy vey.

I just hope that there will be some answers in all of this.  Whether regarding TTC or not, I need to feel somewhat normal!  :)

In other news, P and I may completely miss my fertile window this month.  I guess it all depends.  If I stay consistent and O around CD 25 - 27, then we might have perfect timing, actually.  But I am very aware of the way my body behaves - like a puppy that's had no training, basically!  With my luck, I'll O tomorrow.  Oh well, only time will tell.

Fresh Start

I started bleeding last night.  Which means two things:

1. I had the most horrible cramps last night, making sleep all but impossible.

2. I get to go in for my CD3 blood work tomorrow morning, with the timing being just about right.

And so, I have a fresh start.  A new cycle (Cycle #7 TTC), and a new look at my hormone levels.  Hopefully this will give me some answers.  If not, then I guess P gets to get busy with himself at a lab.  :)  Ha!

I'm going to try to be optimistic for the remainder of the night, despite the horrible cramping that has me lying on a heating pad!

An Introduction

Hi.  I'm Brandi.  And as you can tell from my blog title, my biological clock snuck up on me.

I'm 31 years old, happily married to my 33 year old DH (known from this point forward as "P") for the past 4.5 years.  We've been together for 9 years altogether.  Until approximately 2 years ago, we were convinced that we did not want children.  I don't remember the exact point when we changed our minds.  The reason why we changed our minds, however, is because we want to share our love with a child (or children) who can then grow and share it with others.  Sappy?  Maybe.  True?  Definitely.

We were living overseas at the time that we decided we wanted a child, so we chose to wait until we moved back to the U.S. before trying.  While overseas, I had some health issues crop up and after an inordinate amount of testing, I was diagnosed with Lyme Disease.  I don't remember being bitten by a tick, but the disease is relatively widespread in the area in which we lived.  Before going through a 3 week course of daily IV antibiotics, my doctor also discovered that my hormone levels were completely unbalanced.  She took me off birth control pills in November 2007, after I had been on them for nearly 15 years.

Once P and I were safely together back in the U.S., we decided it was the right time to TTC.  I was full of hope because I had been charting for a good 6 months, and I tried to ignore the fact that my cycles were very irregular.  After all, I'd heard and read that it could take up to a year post-BCP for my cycles to regulate.  

As we began our TTC journey, I started to lose quite a bit of hair.  Not enough that I had bald spots or anything, but it was noticeable to me because I've always had thick, shiny hair.  Suddenly it was thinning, weak and dull.  My hairstylist mentioned it to me, but I didn't want to own up to it.  My hair did start growing back after a couple months, and now I have these ridiculous baby hairs that make it quite a challenge to style my hair (which I had cut much shorter after the hair shedding incident).

After 7 months (5 cycles) of well timed sex and no BFP, I was becoming discouraged.  I went to the OB/GYN last month for my annual check-up and mentioned the situation to her.  I was shocked when she took me seriously and ordered blood work!  She wrote a script for the cycle day 3 FSH, estradiol and progesterone, as well as TSH, glucose, insulin, etc.  I've had an enlarged thyroid and borderline test results for TSH and glucose/insulin in the past, so she's going to monitor that.  She doubts that the hair loss was caused by coming off BCP.

She also gave me the following information: 90% of couples who chart cycles/time sex become pregnant within 6 months, and 98% are successful within a full year.  So while I thought I'd have to wait until May (one full year of trying) to have any testing done, she doesn't feel that is necessary given my medical history, the fact that I appear to be ovulating but still have irregular cycles,  and the fact that we've been timing sex.

And that is our TTC journey in a nut shell!

Right now, I am 5 DPO according to FF (I'm not sure that I agree, however).  I am not holding out much hope for this cycle because it doesn't appear that we did the best job timing sex this time.  I sometimes get ambiguous readings on OPKs, and my CM and CP don't always match what my temps are doing.  That said, I have been eating pineapple (core included) since 2 DPO - just in case.  

FF shows my test date as January 23rd, but I really dread seeing another BFN, so I will probably wait beyond that unless AF shows.  And if AF does show, then I will be able to get my CD 3 blood work done.  There's always a silver lining, right?  :)