Irony at its Finest

This is seriously getting over-the-top ridiculous.  I woke up at 4:30 this morning feeling nauseated beyond belief.  And I just vomited again - second time this week.  And I swear, I am someone who never vomits.  Unless I have the flu or have recently undergone anesthesia.  Neither of which are true for me at this time.  I don't even have a fever.

I'd just like to say that this is extremely unfair.  Pregnancy-type symptoms occurring when I am clearly not pregnant?  Body, you suck!!!!

On a positive note, I scheduled my very first acupuncture appointment for Thursday next week.  I have high hopes that will help me begin to feel better.  Here's to hoping, anyway!

Health Insurance Snob

OK, so I fully admit that I am a health insurance snob.  I get the highest coverage PPO that my company provides, and I pay handsomely for it.  Consequently, I expect certain things, like not being required to gain referrals for specialists and the like.

Yesterday, I somehow stumbled upon a Lyme Disease specialist.  The only one in Florida.  And he is in my area!  With my recent symptom flares, I was quite excited at this find, and I called the office immediately to schedule an appointment.  Only to find that this doctor requires referrals from GPs and/or PCPs!  WTF?

I was taken aback at first, but I suppose I can understand the need for this system now.  With so few Lyme specialists in the U.S., these docs are probably inundated by people who have been diagnosed and those who think they might have the disease.  So OK, I get their policy.

My problem: I still need to find a primary doctor.  ::sigh::  I admit, I have been avoiding it.  First of all, I've only been in this area for six months.  Second of all, I work from home and basically know nobody around here to ask for recommendations.  P doesn't like his coworkers very much and probably wouldn't trust their recommendations.  I've searched on Angie's List and just haven't found what I'm looking for.

I wouldn't be so picky if I hadn't experienced such sub par primary care in the past.  However, I need to get over my hangups and get my arse in gear.  I just need to pick someone and make an appointment.  Most doctors give me the blank look when I go over my lengthy medical history, so I'm sure nobody would have a problem referring me off to a specialist anyway.

So this week's to do's are:

1. Find a primary doc
2. Make an appt. for acupuncture

::Takes a Tylenol for ongoing cramps and slinks off to get butt in gear::

Why, body, why?

I am still spotting today.  Today is CD7.  And I spotted for two days before my period as well, so altogether I have had some form of bleeding for 9 days straight?  WTF?  This never happens, and I don't think it should be happening.  Man, this totally sucks.  I guess the saving grace is that I'm not really cramping today, at least.  Yet.  Argh.

Is my frustration readily evident yet?

I'm going to try to go the rest of the day without being frustrated with my body.  Please wish me good luck in this quest.

Ugh

Well, we did accomplish our furniture shopping yesterday, but boy did I feel awful the entire time we were out!  Geesh.  I finally managed to down some saltines and a bit of tomato soup last night.  No thanks to Target, where they had a display of super smelly dryer sheets stacked right next the checkout line that we chose.  I almost tossed cookies right there in the store.  I'm very confused about why smells are bothering me right now.  I suppose the blessing is the fact that this is happening after my period, rather than before my period when I would have interpreted this as a possible pregnancy sign.

This morning I woke up with a sore throat and pounding head.  I just hope I don't have the flu.

Anyway, I am hoping to hear something about my CD3 blood results this week.  It would be nice to have some answers and some sort of course of action.  I know P won't be overly thrilled about submitting a sample if my results come back normal, but he's the other half to this equation and I know he'll do it promptly so we can get this show on the road.  If it even comes to that, of course.  I'm expecting some abnormalities in my results anyway, considering the inconsistencies that were found about 15 months ago.  All we can do is wait and see for now.

Right now I am taking it one day at a time, and I am really concentrating on feeling joy for women who are pregnant right now.  I so do not want to become bitter.  It's a constant internal struggle, believe me.  However, bitterness will not produce anything besides unhappiness, so I know it's something that must be controlled.  All I can do is look forward to the unbelievable happiness that awaits me, too.  One day.

WTF??

This a test of the Biological Clock rant system.  This is only a test.

I just can't figure out my body, and it's seriously pissing me off.  First of all, I stopped bleeding yesterday.  Great, right?  I thought so.  Until I started bleeding again all of a sudden this afternoon.  WTF?

And as if that isn't enough...  We were having a great Sunday morning.  I made a great start on my 101 Things in 1001 Days list.  We walked the dogs in the beautiful Florida sunshine, I drank my morning coffee, surfed the 'Net and watched HGTV to my little heart's desire.  And then, out of nowhere, I became extremely nauseated.  I had to lie down until my tummy couldn't take it anymore, and at that point I ran to the bathroom and vomited.

Went to lie down again, hoping to drift to sleep and awaken feeling much better.  However, the acidic feeling in my throat now required Tums.  Thought I felt better, so I jumped in the shower.  Went through my usual lotion and deodorant routine post-shower, and now I am extremely disturbed by the scent of my lotion (an organic and natural lotion, by the way) and my everyday deodorant.  Feel as though I am going to vomit again.

WTF?

First of all, I have a stomach of steel and I never vomit.  I get nauseated before my period every cycle, but I rarely vomit.  Second of all, why the hell are my everyday smells bothering me?  Third of all, this is so effed up because I just had my period (well, am having it again today, apparently).  And finally, I am ticked because we are supposed to be furniture shopping right now.  I do not have time for this ridiculous business.

Dear body, you suck.  Now get over this drama and start feeling normal again, dammit!

Rant over.

Fresh Start

I started bleeding last night.  Which means two things:

1. I had the most horrible cramps last night, making sleep all but impossible.

2. I get to go in for my CD3 blood work tomorrow morning, with the timing being just about right.

And so, I have a fresh start.  A new cycle (Cycle #7 TTC), and a new look at my hormone levels.  Hopefully this will give me some answers.  If not, then I guess P gets to get busy with himself at a lab.  :)  Ha!

I'm going to try to be optimistic for the remainder of the night, despite the horrible cramping that has me lying on a heating pad!

I'm Annoyed With Myself

Gah, I have been so annoying the past couple days!  Between my disappointment at impending AF and the fact that I've felt like complete crap, I have not been much fun lately.  It' no wonder P. hasn't been feeling well, either.  I'd pretend to be sick if I had to deal with myself, too.  :P

In other news, it's freaking COLD here in southern Florida!  I had to dig out a winter coat and scarf just for the purpose of walking the dogs tonight.  We have the heat on in the house, even!  The good news is that it has been sunny.  And since we're getting solar heat installed to the pool this weekend, that is fantastic news.  And really, I can't complain about the weather THAT much...it's supposed to reach 70+ degrees again by Friday.  I can't wait!

Anyway, back to AF Watch 2009.  I'm guessing I will need to call the OB's office tomorrow to get instructions as far as when to get my blood drawn...since it will most likely not be possible on CD3.